Last we saw how some words with a strong negative meaning in English are much milder and sometimes inoffensive in French.

In this post are some expressions that ARE damaging in French, even though they remain innocuous in English.

Excité /ex see tay/  is a false friend, a truly mean one too. While “I’m excited” is something you’d readily say in public, to strangers, to a crowd, je suis excité(e) /shew ee ex see tay/, on the other hand, is not. It means : I’m aroused, and yes, in the sexual sense. So use it wisely – or don’t.

Use J’ai hâte /jay aht/ if you’re excited about an upcoming event:

Use Je suis ravi(e) de vous présenter…  /shew ee rah veed voo pray zohn tay…/ if you are excited to introduce someone:

Use Je suis fier/fière de vous présenter… /shew ee fee aird voo pray zohn tay…/ if you are excited to introduce a product to an audience:

Use énervé(e) /ay nair vay/ if you mean excited or overexcited:

I can’t wait to get to « I can’t wait ». This one seems innocent however, if you translate it word per word it doesn’t work. Je ne peux pas attendre doesn’t sound like I can’t wait, if you try to use it for this, it sounds like “Je ne peux pas parler français”.

Use: J’ai hâte /jay aht/ :   J’ai hâte à /jay ahtah/ + noun;   J’ai hâte de /jay ahtd/ + verb (Infinitive).

If it’s really bad, then use J’ai trop hâte /jay troe aht/.

“Finir” is conjugated with “avoir” in past tense, not “être”! I know, I know, in English we say I am… I am done, I am finished… but in French, “Je suis fini” means I’m a dead man (I’m finished, kaput, ruined…). So in French, we say J’ai… j’ai fini, j’ai terminé.

-          But Madame! Madame! What about “C’est fini”?

Hum…. Ok. Yes, “C’est fini” and “C’est terminé” don’t count. In this case it’s because “fini” and “terminé” are used as adjectives.

-          Can’t we use “fini” and “terminé” as adjectives for people too, then?

Non. Sorry. I’m done is always expressed with passé composé: J’ai fini.

To “feel like” something is expressed in French with avoir envie de… /ahwahr ohn veed…/.

You can /ahwahr ohn veed…/ a thing, for instance pizza.

You can /ahwahr ohn veed…/ do something, for example swimming.

So,  you feel like something? Go ahead, knock yourself out! /ahwahr ohn veed…/ is there for you.

HOWEVER, careful with this expression! Do you notice the d at the end?

Very important. Repeat with me : VERY IMPORTANT!

It makes all the difference in the world between a simple, innocent “I feel like” and

J’ai envie   /jay ohn vee/,  I need to pee.

In a bilingual dictionary, one of the entries for “enjoy” is “jouir”. Be extra cautious. Alone, the verb literally means “To have an orgasm”.

If you want to express the idea of “enjoy”, you can use the verb apprécier /app ray see ay/ or aimer /ay may/.  In English, we often use it in the imperative form, “Enjoy!” which cannot be translated into one single expression in French. If you’re drinking, you may say “À la vôtre!” /ah lah voe tr/; if eating, “Bon Appétit” /bonn app ay tee/; if you’re wishing well to people you may tell them “Amusez-vous!” /amew zay voo/.

Seen: Some juice company had cheapened on translation services. One could read on their bottle caps:

Shake and Enjoy! – Secouer et Jouir! (!!!)

*”Jouir de…” can be used as “enjoy the rights to” in highly administrative language or legal terms… but outside of these context, it still means to have an orgasm.

More translation fun here.

If you look up “kids”, the translation suggested might be the French slang word “gosses” /goss/. That’s all fine and dandy as long as you are in Europe. But in Canada, it’s another story. The word there means, er… balls. As in, man privates. Yes. It’s true.

So next time someone asks you if you want to see their /goss/, check in which continent you are before accepting. It might not be what you thought.

Just ask this Laval couple about their encounter (around 2:25):

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